hypnowithdean

One of the things I talk about quite a lot with clients is ownership. Not blame, not guilt, and not pretending that everything that happens to us is somehow our responsibility. In fact, very often the opposite is true. Something has happened because of somebody else, because of a situation we did not create, because somebody treated us badly, let us down, crossed a boundary, made a poor decision or put us in a position we did not ask to be in. It is important to be really clear about that...

One of the things I notice all the time with clients is how naturally we qualify something positive. We do it without even realising. Someone might tell me they have had a really good week, that work has been better, they have slept better, they have been out with friends or managed something they had been putting off, and then almost automatically there is a “but”. “I had a really good week, but Thursday was awful.” “I slept much better, but I still woke up once.” “We had a lovely holiday,...

One of the things I often talk about in therapy is the difference between what I call the primitive brain and the intellectual brain. I use those terms because they make something quite complicated much easier to understand. The primitive brain is the part of us that reacts. It is fast, protective and emotional. It is looking for danger, trying to keep us safe and making very quick judgements about what is happening. If something frightens us, angers us, embarrasses us or makes us feel...