All Posts

One of the things I talk about quite a lot with clients is ownership. Not blame, not guilt, and not pretending that everything that happens to us is somehow our responsibility. In fact, very often the opposite is true. Something has happened because of somebody else, because of a situation we did not create, because somebody treated us badly, let us down, crossed a boundary, made a poor decision or put us in a position we did not ask to be in. It is important to be really cle

One of the things I notice all the time with clients is how naturally we qualify something positive. We do it without even realising. Someone might tell me they have had a really good week, that work has been better, they have slept better, they have been out with friends or managed something they had been putting off, and then almost automatically there is a “but”. “I had a really good week, but Thursday was awful.” “I slept much better, but I still woke up once.” “We had a

One of the things I often talk about in therapy is the difference between what I call the primitive brain and the intellectual brain. I use those terms because they make something quite complicated much easier to understand. The primitive brain is the part of us that reacts. It is fast, protective and emotional. It is looking for danger, trying to keep us safe and making very quick judgements about what is happening. If something frightens us, angers us, embarrasses us or mak

One of the things I am quite clear about with clients is that listening to the trance between sessions is important. It is not simply something nice to do if you have the time, and it is not there just to help you relax for twenty minutes. For me, it is part of the therapy itself. The work we do in a session can help you think differently, understand what is happening and begin to create change, but that session may only last an hour. What happens during the other six days of

There is a question I have started to think about more and more when I find myself going back over something that happened in the past: if I am going to tell this story, either to myself or to somebody else, is telling it going to help me now or in the future? If it isn’t, why am I telling it? I like the question because it does not tell me that I should forget the past, pretend something did not happen, or excuse people who may have hurt me. It is much simpler than that. It

\ For a long time, I used to say that I hated Newcastle. I said it quite easily and, at the time, I genuinely believed it. I moved away in my early twenties purely because of work. It was a career move and that was the reason I left, but at the same time I was happy to be going because of some of the things I was leaving behind. There had been family fallouts and difficult situations going on around that period of my life, and although they were not the reason I moved away, t

In part one, I wrote about how Ted Lasso gets us to look at other people differently. Not to excuse bad behaviour, but to try and understand what might be going on underneath it, and how that understanding can sometimes change the way we respond. For part two, I wanted to turn that around a little, because something else struck me while watching it. We don't just interpret other people's behaviour all the time, we are also constantly adjusting our own. Depending on where we a

I have always thought Ted Lasso was one of those programmes that is very easy to describe badly. You could say it is a comedy about an American football coach coming over to England to manage a Premier League team despite knowing very little about the game. And technically that is true. But it is also completely missing the point. Because Ted Lasso has never really been about football. There is a lot of football in it, obviously. There are changing rooms, matches, tactics, ma

I've found myself thinking a lot about manifestation recently. It seems to be everywhere these days. Scroll through social media and you'll see people talking about vision boards, affirmations, positive energy and the law of attraction. There are stories of dream jobs appearing, houses being bought, relationships beginning and businesses thriving, all apparently because someone believed hard enough that it would happen. For some, it's become almost a religion. For others, it'

I've been thinking a lot recently about how much energy we waste trying to convince people. Not just about the big things in life, but about almost everything. We convince people that we're making the right decision, that we're happier than we used to be, that we've chosen the right path, that we've changed for the better, that our boundaries aren't personal, that our dreams aren't unrealistic. Somewhere along the way, many of us have quietly started believing that if everyon

When someone first comes to see me, they will often say something like, “I know what I should be doing, but I just can’t seem to do it,” or, “I’ve tried everything and I still feel stuck.” Sometimes they have spent months or even years trying to think their way out of anxiety, poor sleep, low confidence, unwanted habits or a feeling that life has become harder than it needs to be. They may understand their problem very well, but understanding it has not yet changed how they f

I often think about how easily a problem can move from being one part of life to becoming the main thing we think about. It might begin with something ordinary: an awkward conversation with a colleague, a bill we have not yet paid, a message that has gone unanswered, a mistake at work, a disagreement at home, a decision about whether to change jobs, or a health appointment we are worried about. At first, the problem sits alongside everything else. We still get on with the day

Many people contact me because they're interested in hypnotherapy. They may have been struggling with anxiety, stress, low confidence, poor sleep or simply feeling overwhelmed by life and are looking for a way to feel more like themselves again. Often they have read about hypnosis, had it recommended by a friend or family member, or perhaps they've reached a point where they know something needs to change. What many don't realise at first is that I practise Solution Focused H

One of the things I've noticed over the years of working with clients is just how hard people with PTSD can be on themselves. Many arrive feeling frustrated, confused and often exhausted by what they're experiencing. They'll tell me that they know the event is over, they know they are safe, and yet they still feel anxious, on edge or unable to relax. Some are angry with themselves because they think they should have moved on by now. Others worry there is something wrong with

As I sit here approaching my fourth year in practice as a Clinical Hypnotherapist, I find myself reflecting on a journey that has changed my life in ways I never expected. Three years ago, I qualified and took my first steps into a profession that I hoped would allow me to help people. Looking back now, I could never have imagined where that decision would lead. If someone had told me then that I would be running practices in Scunthorpe and Huddersfield, supporting clients in

Click image for website One of the biggest misconceptions about hypnotherapy is the idea that the conscious mind somehow switches off completely during hypnosis. In reality, your conscious mind remains very important throughout the process and can play a major role in how successful hypnotherapy becomes. I often explain to clients that hypnotherapy works best when the conscious and subconscious mind begin working together rather than against each other. The subconscious mind

Most people who contact me about hypnotherapy have usually reached a point where they know something needs to change. Some are dealing with anxiety that has gradually become harder to manage, while others are struggling with sleep, confidence, stress, or habits they feel stuck in. Many are still functioning perfectly well on the outside — working, parenting, socialising, and getting on with life — but internally they feel mentally overloaded more often than they used to. A lo

A lot of people say they want to feel more in control, but very few stop to think about what control actually means. Most people simply know they feel better when life feels settled, predictable, and manageable. They feel calmer when plans stay in place, when people behave in ways they can understand, and when there is a clear sense of what is happening and what comes next. That makes complete sense, because control often gets confused with safety. When things feel certain, t

Click image for website There is a huge difference between caring about someone and carrying what they are going through. A lot of people do not realise they have crossed that line until they feel completely worn down by the emotions, stress, and struggles of the people around them. It often starts from a good place. Someone close to you is having a difficult time, and naturally you want to help. A friend is anxious, a partner is overwhelmed, a family member is struggling, or

Click image for website I recently finished reading the autobiography of Tina Turner, and there was a moment very early in the book that stayed with me long after I had put it down. She begins by acknowledging something that most people already know about her life — the painful years she spent with Ike Turner. For many people, that part of her life became the thing they associated her with the most. She then says something very simple. She points out that she has actually liv